Lordship.

Today JL did V&C on Lordship. He brought up the point that it's interesting how people say, "Oh I tried Christianity once, it didn't really work out for me"...more like, you became a Christian because you thought you could have Jesus as your servant to fix your problems? WE are to be HIS servants, He is to be the Lord of our lives. The Bible refers to Jesus as Lord over 7,000 times, whereas it refers to him as Savior only 30-some times. I think that paints a pretty clear picture. JL began talking about what we have to give up when we become Christians...how for him it was 2 good friends & a life of partying, but God blessed him with HUNDREDS of friends even closer than the 2 he had to give up to walk with Christ. It occurred to me then...I have been so worried about what God MIGHT make me give up...I never stopped to listen. He hasn't asked me to give up those things. Maybe He will at some point, but He hasn't yet. So why am I worrying? Because I'm good at worrying. But while we were talking about it in V&C God just kind of said, "What are you worried for? Have I asked you to give that up? If I brought it to you, why would I take it away with no explanation?" It seems like a silly thing, but it was a major revelation for me. So now my prayer is to be still, & be patient, & surrender everything to Him...if He asks me to give up those things I've been fearing, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I felt much more peace about it after that.

I found out today that I won't be getting my private lessons with Lori. I'm not as disappointed about this as I thought I would be...a bit bummed, but I trust that God has it figured out, & I know that I'll learn alot from whoever I get lessons from. So I'm okay with that. And that's not even to say that I might not get to take one or two lessons from her still. Who knows. God's got it worked out how it's supposed to be, so I'm not going to bother myself with it.

After lunch the elders & some other church members came in to pray & prophesy over each of us. We only got through 7 out of 17 students today, so we will continue tomorrow. It's really awesome to hear the giftings that some of these people have. There is no doubt in my mind that they are real & sincere. I even got words for someone today! I thought to myself early on, "Wouldn't it be cool to be able to tell someone something that God is saying? I'd love to have some kind of word for at least one person." And then I didn't think of it again. But while Josh was being prayed over, I thought, "Wouldn't it be strange if someone said 1 Peter 2:11 ("Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.") when they were praying over me?" I know that verse by heart, but sometimes forget the reference. Today it came to me clearly, & I wondered if I was supposed to speak up. I wrestled with it for a minute & decided not to say anything, because my wimpy verse didn't seem to compare to the amazing revelations others had for him. But after I decided I wouldn't, I had an image in my mind...not so much clear words, like God clearly laid them out one by one, but suddenly it came to me. So I went forward & told Josh that that verse had been put on my heart, & that I wasn't going to say it, but felt God pushing me to speak up & tell him that God DOES care for him, & that he needs to cast all his anxiety on Him because even when Josh might not feel he's strong enough to bear the burden, God is there & he IS strong enough. It was short & sweet but I could see that it meant something.

What I said to Josh applies to me as well. I need to let go of my worry & anxiety...I think that is what God has been calling me to give up for years now. But for some reason I hold on. I want to let it go.