The Holy Spirit.

Okay this will probably be kind of controversial. Because I suck at explaining things. Today Ian did V&C, the chapter on the Holy Sprit. Let me start by saying that I was raised to believe in the Trinity & that you are filled with the Holy Spirit at the time you are born again. Let me be clear at the start that I still believe this to be true.

Having said that, here we go.

First Ian talked about the Trinity & highlighted several passages of Scripture where it clearly addresses the idea of the Father, Son & Holy Spirit all being the same "person." Even though the word Trinity is never used, it is very obviously implied. From there we got on to the big stuff. Ian explained through his own testimony that he believed basically what I stated above, but that he was challenged by one of his Christian friends to seek the Holy Spirit in the more personal way that it's described in the Bible. He talked about how he felt so insufficient when he would pray about how "awesome" or "great" or "amazing" God was, because we use all of those words on a daily basis to describe other things. Well, you can't really describe God accurately in the way of anything else...so for him personally, that is the purpose of speaking in tongues. He was very clear that Living Light does NOT believe that you must speak in tongues to be a born again Christian or even to be filled with the Holy Spirit, but that it is the most common of the spiritual gifts...which obviously poses the question, couldn't you just fake it? Sure! But that's between each individual & God. I've never heard it presented in quite that way & it made sense to me. There have been times where I've literally been at a loss for words in prayer.

I remember a couple of years ago at a Flyleaf concert I recommitted my life to God, & since then things in my life have definitely changed. I think from that point on God challenged me to seek Him in a deeper, more personal way than I have in the past. After Ian finished V&C we had a prayer session. I was sitting on the ground praying & was suddenly overcome by that same emotion that I felt at the Flyleaf concert. Shortly after I felt someone lean over me & place a hand on the top of my head & I recognized Gary's voice as he began praying for me. After his prayer, he said, "You're safe, Cara. God knows your fears & your doubts & your insecurities about what you have to give up this year. You can give it to Him in confidence. You're safe." I just burst into tears. It was like this huge weight off my chest to hear that. God has been challenging everyone in our class to let go of our lives & turn them completely to Him. It's hard & it's scary, but it's so worth it.

As if THAT wasn't emotional enough, we finished out student testimonies today. Wow. It's very clear that God has each of us here for a reason.

It's been an emotionally exhausting day, but I loved it. This doesn't even begin to describe it all...I feel God breaking me apart from the inside & rebuilding me with no fear.

TGIF.