Blah.

TGIF. I feel like crap today. The other worship team led this morning & did a great job. I can't wait to lead...even though it will mean I have to be at school at 7am. Stewardship in Life was with Shanon today & then we had Bible Review with Tim. Numbers is an interesting book. Kelly was really sick today so we don't have a drum lesson. Sooo, now I'm feeling miserable & watching Psych...which helps a bit.

I think this may actually be the shortest blog I've ever written.

Have a good weekend.

Prayer...Part 2.

Tracey came in as a guest speaker for Prophetic Worship this morning & spoke about prayer. So amazing. I could probably spend an hour writing this blog...but I'm tired so I won't. Haha. She shared her testimony & talked about the different types of prayer. She mostly talked about acting on those random thoughts you get to pray for people, because you never know how it's going to change that person's life. And you may never know, but God tells you to pray for people for a reason. It was a really powerful teaching, I wish I could go into more detail.

After Tracey was done we all had a time of prayer together. Tracey ended up going around the circle & praying over each of us individually. She had a word for me as well, which I was smart enough to write down right away: " 'I am your strength right now. I am the strength at your back & your supporter,' says the Lord." I'm pretty sure that God giving me strength is the only way I'm not in super confusion over the state of my life right now. And her word definitely made me thank God for giving me that strength, because I know I could never do any of this without Him. Not long after, Serita (a former SOW student visiting for the day) came & prayed over me & read me Psalm 18. She also had a word for me, which actually made me laugh out loud when I heard it: "He rescued you because He delights in you. I feel like He's speaking to you to stop comparing yourself, & stop thinking that you are not worthy of what He is offering you. Let Him be your strength, stop worrying & asking why & assuming the worst. He has given you a firm foundation because He delights in you." That was SO what I needed to hear.

There was a girl visiting today that's thinking of doing the school next year, so I went to lunch at Daily Dose with her & Kate & Stef. After lunch was Ear Training & Theory. Ear wasn't so bad...but we have a test in Theory next thursday that I am definitely not looking forward to. We didn't have worship teams again today, which kind of stunk, but Kate, Bethany, Hanna & I spent some time in prayer for the KBP benefit concert tonight, & for anything else the Lord put on our hearts. It was good fellowship time, & it was a great way to outwork what we spent the entire morning talking about. Overall it was a good day.

I'm wiped. Kate is trying to get me to go to the KBP thing tonight...I don't know if I have the energy.

Uneventful.

Today has been pretty uneventful...Exploring Worship was good, but Bible Review was canceled because Gary had to go home. We did some independent study, & then Keyboarding was after lunch. I haven't been feeling that great so I missed game night at homegroup. Which might actually be for the best considering how competitive I am.

Sorry for the short post...it's more to meet my daily quota than anything. Haha. Kate's dad just brought me a glass of wine (a red from Trader Joe's, if there are any wine connoisseurs out there), so I think I will enjoy it while I finish my Bible Reading & hit the hay.

Goodnight.

"Get Over It!"

That is John Kasica's favorite saying, I think.

Day 2 with the Kasicas was just as good as day 1. I only have 5 pages of notes today though because they only did the morning teaching. Haha.

We started off the morning with a bit of worship, & then they had us take time to meditate & ask God to speak to us. God definitely spoke to me! Last night I couldn't fall asleep, & when I was so focused on trying to get some rest, random things would come to mind...I'd pause & wonder, & then go back to being frustrated that it was midnight & I was still awake. As I got more & more restless, the thoughts came more persistently...& then I realized that God was speaking to me & I was so concerned with myself that I wasn't bothering to listen! So I relaxed & asked Him to show me what He wanted me to see. I saw a picture of a trunk. Like, a luggage trunk, or even a treasure chest. That was all. I prayed that He would help me to remember it in the morning, & fell asleep. So when we were given time to meditate, that trunk came to mind again. And then I saw inside the trunk, that there were a few of the most beautifully wrapped gifts you've ever seen, & as I watched, I saw a pair of hands placing more packages in the trunk. Then I realized that those same hands were wrapping each of the packages individually, & each was unique. As I watched, I noticed that each of the packages had an attribute of God's Love written on it; Forgiving, Patient, Kind, Immeasurable... This continued for some time, until the trunk was completely full. Once all the packages were fit securely inside, the hands closed the lid & I saw my name was engraved on the top of the trunk. I think God was saying that He's carefully storing up His Love in my heart, because healing will come when I allow myself to be completely filled up with His Love. But it doesn't end there. He wants me to unwrap those gifts & give a part of them to others. His Love should be outworked in MY love to others! Wow.

So after we were done meditating John asked if anyone would like to share. At first I didn't want to because I thought it was only for me...but then Kal brought a word for a couple of people specifically, & then Stef shared a picture of what she had seen, & when John asked again if anyone else wanted to share, I felt like I should. Even if only one other person needed to hear it I'm happy.

During the break later, Sam came over to me & said that he wanted to encourage me to speak out more often, because the things I say are always good, & deep. He also said that he feels like when I share it encourages others to step out, that I am really good at breaking the ice & bringing something that encourages others to follow that example. That was SO encouraging to hear! Once in middle school I was told I talked too much in youth group, & looking back on it I really think that God was just constantly speaking through me! But it was hard to overcome that worry that I talked too much, & I think I can confidently say that I'm delivered from it. If you don't like to hear me talk, don't listen! Haha.

The morning finished up with the Kasicas teaching on prophecy & healing. I could go into all of that, but I don't even know where to begin. We had some GREAT prayer time, & I had some really wonderful one-on-one time with Bethany & was able to pray for her & encourage her. She is such an inspiration to me! She's growing so much in her faith & I love being able to witness it & share in it with her.

After lunch we had Songwriting, which was actually a really good time today. We went on many tangents about cows & poo & other things...but we also learned a bit about writing songs, & got to analyze "ABC" by the Jackson 5. Haha. Good times.

Worship Teams today for the first time in a week! I was really nervous because I was so out of practice, but we were on the downstairs stage today & we chose a song we all like, but that we had never played before...& we just worshiped to it. It was such an anointed time together, & for a song we had never played it flowed really well. I was pretty pleased.

Okay, this is long enough. I could go on for hours...but I won't.

The Kasicas.

John & Paula Kasica are visiting. They did all of the teaching today & will teach again the first half of tomorrow. I don't even know where to start this blog. What incredibly gifted, anointed people. You could literally feel God in the room. It was amazing...I took ten pages of notes throughout the day. I guess I can highlight the most significant parts to me, because to write out all my notes would take ages, & I doubt you would read all of them anyway. Haha.

One of the first things they did was play us a few songs & have us spread out & just write what God was speaking to us. It would probably be easiest just to copy down what I wrote...

"We are not to lose sight of Him. But when we seek answers, He should be the first & last place we look. We should never go to anyone else for answers first, & once He has spoken to us we should accept it as the ONLY truth. We don't need 'second opinions'...His Word is FINAL. Receive it, accept it, & allow Him to bless you in it! I hate that saying, 'It's always the last place you look.' Well of course it is, who continues to search for something after they've already found it? In the same way, we should not continue to search for anything AFTER He has revealed it to us. When God speaks to me, I tend to have one of two responses: If He answers me with something I don't want to hear, I look for that 'second opinion' until I hear the answer I want & get what I want from someone else. On the other hand, if He shows me something GOOD, I accept it gladly...but then start to worry that it is actually too good to be true. But His Word is FINAL, no matter how I feel about it, & I need to stop wasting time doubting & accept His blessings & word over my life!"

There was so much ground covered in between...but I'm going to jump ahead to part of one of the teachings. We probably spent the most time focusing today on what God's love really is. Dan brought an INCREDIBLE word about His love for us. It seriously moved me to tears. Phenomenal. One of the main things he said was to stop striving & struggling to understand love. We will never comprehend it! That totally spoke to me...I try to understand sometimes why PEOPLE love me, don't even get me started on why GOD loves me! But for whatever reason, He chose to save me & reveal a taste of that love to me. We have to know that He IS love. Nothing can separate us from that love...despite what the enemy says! We started really digging into the Bible & looking at what perfect love is, & it's just such an amazing picture! I long to love others that way. I long to BE loved by others that way. You cannot love until you have been loved first. You can read about it & see it, but you will never KNOW it until you've actually EXPERIENCED it for yourself! I just think of the blessings in my own life right now, & how sometimes none of it makes sense, but I am not afraid. Sometimes I think maybe I should be...but then I'm reminded that perfect love kills all fear! Fear is what hinders us from love! When I look at the attributes of love...man. I just want to strive for those qualities in my own life. To abide in love is to abide in God.

I could go on & on. That was just the MORNING session!

After lunch I got about a half hour of drumming in. Maaaaan I am sloppy! That's what not playing for a week gets you, I suppose. But I did come up with some new stuff, which was good.

The afternoon with the Kasicas was just as anointed as the morning was. We discussed how to use art & creativity & music for His glory. Also good stuff. I won't get into detail because we haven't finished that segment yet...that's where we're picking up tomorrow.

Now I have to go finish my songwriting assignment before CBC at 7:00. Oy. I don't know if I have the energy for that...Jesus give me strength.

Financial Advice.

Worship has been really great lately. I don't know if it's my attitude that is changing or if God's just been speaking to me more, but every morning after worship time I just feel so refreshed. I'm already thinking of ways I can keep that in my daily routine even after I'm out of school.

Larry came in to speak for Stewardship In Life today about finances. Considering it's something people never really talk about, it was really interesting. It also made me realize how lucky I am that my parents have raised me to appreciate money I've earned & drilled it into my brain that I should do everything possible to avoid getting into debt. Really it seems that that's where everything goes wrong. It was interesting to hear about real estate & mortgages & stuff as well, considering I've never really understood that stuff, & considering that I hope I'm not living in an apartment in 10 years. Larry is a really great teacher too...I didn't think I'd really be too interested in hearing about finances, but he actually broke it down really well & I enjoyed it.

Bible Review with Tim was good. I'm finding it hard to be too interested in Leviticus & Numbers, but it IS interesting to see how the Old Testament & the New Testament tie together in so many places. It makes me think again how grateful I am that we don't have to do animal sacrifices. I'm pretty sure I'd rather give myself...as much as it hurts sometimes. Wouldn't really be too excited about killing lambs like twice a day. Just sayin.

It's been a pretty uneventful day. No drum lesson, so I went to lunch at Culver's with Kate & Becky. Where I learned that Kate can summarize my time here in 5 minutes. Haha. I love her.

Going to Filip & Hanna's tonight for a bit. Should be good.

Still cold & rainy out. Getting tired of seeing gray.

Short Update...

I'm exhausted so I hope all this makes sense.

Yesterday was...pretty uneventful. Wednesdays usually are, & it was especially so since there was no homegroup.

Prophetic Worship was today...first class yet I've made it through with no tears! Haha, yay for me! It was nice to be the encourager today, instead of the one in a heap on the floor. Teresa had us memorize Psalm 23 & then just worship with it. It's really cool when you know a passage well enough that you can just speak it or sing it out in a worship time. So amazing. I've been thinking alot lately about Trefor's prophecy for me about having a secret place to retreat to anytime. I'm praying that God reveals that place to me soon.

Ear Training is going better than I expected...Theory is still hard, but somehow we managed to distract Kal enough at the beginning of class that most of the hour was taken up by him talking about the time he shot a pigeon with a bow & arrow, & other adventures in killing small animals.

After school I had dinner with Kimmy at Panera. This is the first time we've really gotten to hang out outside of school, & it was so great. She has such joy & such passion, it's contagious. We had great conversation about how God's been working in both of us & in the school as a whole. So wonderful!

Tonight was a prayer meeting for the Pleasant Prairie congregation. I was driving there, ended up getting totally lost, but ended up actually getting to have a long conversation with my old roommate about what God has been speaking to me here...she believes in God, I think, but she's not born again. She's really been on my heart lately, so I know her calling me tonight was not on accident. I was able to share a bit of the Gospel with her, & she seemed totally receptive. She said she wants to talk again in a few days, & I'm praying that I will get a word for her before that so I will have something more to share with her. She is one of my best friends, & I would love more than anything to see her get saved, & to play a part in that. She's such an incredible, strong woman...I can only imagine how much more amazing she would be walking with Him! Pray for her, & for me, that I will know what to say, & that I will receive a word for her. This was definitely the highlight of my day, & SUCH a huge breakthrough! I ended up missing the prayer meeting, but I spent about an hour & a half in the Word & in prayer for her at home, so I hope that counts.

Thank God tomorrow is friday! I am wiped. It's been a crazy week.