In Christ Alone.

I fail at blogging.

It's been a crazy few days...it's been snowing since yesterday, & I'm praying for a snow day tomorrow. CBC is going to take up most of my time this week, so I doubt I'll be writing much...we do have friday off of school though because it's going to be such a hectic week, so that will be nice. And one week from thursday I'll be going home!

I'm learning some new things about myself. Yesterday I had a talk with Kal after school about some stuff that's going on, & I left feeling really discouraged. We didn't have to be at school till ten this morning, so I met Kim for coffee & breakfast before class started to tell her what was going on & how I was feeling & get her opinion on things. I love Kim. She is so encouraging, but she's also very honest which I appreciate. I felt alot more peace after talking with her about things, but I still feel a little unsettled. I've decided that I have a hard time when I think people are mad at me. Even if their intentions are good, or even if they're not really mad at ME. I remember days where I had to call into work because I was really sick, & just feeling so terrible for the rest of the day when my boss would get frustrated. I knew my boss wasn't upset because I was sick, but because she was frustrated that she would have to fill my spot; but I would STILL beat myself up over it, even though it was out of my control. I hate not making other people happy, but it isn't because I necessarily care what they think of me...I don't ever want to be the source of anyone's frustration or hurt or anger or resentment or whatever. I know that's unrealistic because I am human & I will make mistakes. I've spent the last two days praying that God will help me to overcome this, because all that matters at the end of the day is what God thinks of me. And He tells me what He thinks of me all the time, in words from other people, in my quiet times or worship times...I know I have changed alot for the better, & I know I will continue to do so. Ultimately, this boils down to fear of man, in a sense. I have nothing to fear though, because my hope is in God alone, & there is nothing that any human can say or do to take that from me. I completely trust in Him to provide for me & protect me & be my strength & direct my path. I resolved before I even came here to live in the present. It would be so easy to get caught up in hurts from the past, or in hopes for the future. But I'm here NOW, & God wants me to focus on TODAY. So tomorrow will be a new day, & I will not worry anymore about this. Because I know I have a bad habit of making mountains out of mole hills...but that is the enemy trying to distract me with things I've already overcome. I just have to remember that I've already overcome, & continue to trust & have faith.

Wow, that probably doesn't make any sense to anyone. I guess it was more of a pep talk than anything...but I feel better.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

I will stand, I will stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground
Is sinking sand

So I'll stand!